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Welcoming my first guest blogger – Elliot Symonds a trainer in Negotiation with Jarrolds Training.  Leave your comments below and let us know what you think.

“We’ll send in our professional negotiator”

….were words which struck fear into the multinational grocer once. It was merely a tactic in order to shift the balance of power to us. “No, no. No need to do that. We’re quite happy discussing this with you,” they replied. I was the professional negotiator.

Negotiation is one of those words which strike fear into a lot of people’s hearts…or should I say heads? I like the acronym for F.E.A.R. ‘False Evidence which Appears Real’. Too many get themselves into all sorts of trouble just about the thought of a negotiation let alone being in the actual situation.

Everyone is more capable of negotiation than they believe

Yet everyone who is reading this right now is more capable of negotiating than they believe. Everyone does it, all the time. It is just when confronted by an intimidating ‘negotiation’ that they forget the skills they have.

I was like that too once. Full of F.E.A.R. Then, over time, I was fortunate enough to have many negotiations with a multitude of different buyers. Confrontational and collaborative.  Aggressive and amateur. I had however been ‘trained’ and what those years of experience gave me was the ability to be able to clinically understand what was going on.

Planning, Preparation and Negotiation Techniques

I knew that planning and preparation was absolutely key. Knew that no matter how much I had done more was actually needed. I knew all the different negotiating techniques that buyers were taught on courses. I could see it when someone transparently used a ‘Columbo’ on me. If they used the ‘False Concession’ technique I was not fooled.

As time went by I grew in confidence and experience with my negotiating skills and could really enjoy the wit involved in verbal fencing. I no longer found the need to ‘sit down’ when told by surly receptionists to do so awaiting my interrogator. The slightly lower chair below an imposing desk did not scare.

Perhaps most important of all I knew not to take things personally. As a young negotiator I did…and it hurt and caused me genuine pain and stress. So why would it be that just one training course where a ‘professional’ told me that 3% of successful negotiations would include personal insults should take all those feelings away?

For me it was the permission…the authority of someone saying that this is what had been studied. This is what we teach. It enabled me to go into negotiations and actually insult 3% of the time and understand that it was just a technique in order to gain competitive advantage. I had been taught to ‘trade oxo cubes for tea chests’ and so I did. I had been taught not to haggle, so I didn’t. For me the academic side of negotiation allowed me to become a negotiator full of flair. I became someone who adored the battle to a win win solution.

Becoming the Trainer in Negotiation

Now I am fortunate to be in the position where I am the trainer. The coach. I still negotiate on a daily basis but the real reward comes when I see people gain those insights for the first time, from me. Seeing them applying the ‘use of silence’ in a realistic role play, pushing it to the limit of comfort and then watching their opponent fold and reveal useful information.

Your Negotiation Tip

A take away tip any one can use in negotiation is to have the confidence to call a halt to a discussion and physically walk away from the room. Do it. Try it one day and then see what the other side does. I once concluded a year-long contract for a rather well known Northern Supermarket by asking them to leave the room and wait in their own reception while I considered my position. Have fun while you do it but take note and measure the response.

I just adore training classic negotiation skills. If anyone has any questions I’d love to answer them.

Elliot Symonds